Love Up!!! {Romance in Marriage}

Every marriage has its own ‘in the beginning’, and these beginnings usually underscore the type of foundation upon which the love and the marriage are decisively built and established.

These foundations are vital to the quality, fruitfulness and longevity of marital union.

Many marriages – - if we are honest with ourselves – - started on shaky, if not spurious beginnings. Many will claim that they ‘fell in love’ while the truth is that they ‘fell in lust!’

If we have begun with lust – - sexual attraction or desire – - first, and we are blessed to have the relationship develop and blossom fully further into affection, respect, compassion and genuine friendship, praise GOD! The marriage can work.

Yet the commonality and frequency of the ‘falling in lust’ syndrome are likely to be at the root of the terrible statistics which describe the sharply rising rates of divorce among Christians in particular, in America, in Nigeria, and indeed, throughout the world. Love and respect – - not sexual desire and attraction – - truly constitute the most important and lasting foundation for good and Godly marriage.

And, where that love and respect are mutual, there is little or no room for either discord or for infidelity. Moreover, where love and respect abound, you can always kindle sexual excitement.

Look at it please: there is a tenderness in marital love which runs even deeper than the sensuality and sexuality that can and should reach continuous heights in marital bliss.

And in the best marriages, this tenderness manifests in the unique friendship which grows between husband and wife – - the Godly soul-tie.

Oddly enough, the most excellent living description of that soul-tie tenderness in the Word of GOD, may be found in the story of the covenant friendship between David and King Saul’s son, Jonathan.

And it came to pass,

when he (David) had made an end of speaking unto Saul,

that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David,

and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

Then, Jonathan and David made a covenant,

because he loved him as his own soul.

[1 Samuel 18: 1 – 3] 

When we married in the Church, in the Registry, or before the Justice of the Peace, did we not make a covenant between each other, in the presence of GOD, and a number of human witnesses?

Has your soul indeed knitted with the soul of your Beloved?

Have we steadfastly kept that covenant that we made?

There’s something extraordinarily powerful about vows made to another person.

The more detailed, specific and penetrating the vows we make at the beginning of marriage, ultimately the better for our marriage, for the making of vows between husband and wife before The Witness, and witnesses, raises the bar on the relationship, setting standards from the beginning, which we then aim to keep.

Yet, do not feel dismayed if, in the case of you and your wife/husband, you feel you didn’t exchange vows of substance, of faithfulness and more – - for as long as you both still live, set a date in the immediate future for exchanging the vows you both agree to, thoughtfully and lovingly crafting those covenant promises separately, as your spirit leads you to write, and then – - together with your Beloved, fuse them into one document that you print out.

On the day you set for both of you to exchange those vows, take turns as you read each one aloud to each other, in the presence of GOD and if you so desire, before select friend and family witnesses.

Your exchange can be small, or it can be like a wedding ceremony of any scale.

If you wish, have a minister, a man or woman of GOD, officiate, so that your Exchange of Vows is also recognized as a Solemnization of Vows.

The ceremony (then or now) is undoubtedly the easiest part of marriage.

Living together as husband and wife in loving, faithful, joyful unity of purpose daily, for decades to a century, requires more than luck (if you even believe in such); it takes deep abiding Grace and a very special anointing that must be continuously renewed by GOD HIMSELF.

It also helps to have a rich sense of humor!

No matter how long you’ve been “at it” and “in it”, each marriage is so powerfully and sensitively unique, even as we are each fearfully and wonderfully made.

Stoke up the embers of your fire, one for the other. Regularly renew your vows to each other before GOD.

And while you’re at it, renew your own vows to GOD.

May HE Who was, and is, and ever shall be keep, guide and prosper you and your Beloved together to HIS Glory, and may your marriage stay in the center of HIS Will, in JESUS’ precious, glorious, and mighty Name!